Yapt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n sebebini bulup \u00e7\u00f6zmek zor geliyor. Kolay yolu se\u00e7iyorum ve yapt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131zdan dolay\u0131 hepinizi yarg\u0131l\u0131yorum. \u0130\u015fime gelen bu, ruhuma i\u015flemi\u015f. Sadece yapt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131zdan de\u011fil, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fckleriniz y\u00fcz\u00fcnden de cezalar ya\u011fd\u0131r\u0131yorum. D\u00fczenim bozulacak endi\u015fesiyle d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerinizden de korkuyorum. Korkuyorum potansiyelinden karars\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n.<\/p>\n
Hastaysan\u0131z bile umrumda oldu\u011funu mu sand\u0131n\u0131z? Ne hastalar g\u00f6rd\u00fc bu damarlar. Depremde de y\u0131k\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131zla kal\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z, az\u0131c\u0131k vicdan\u0131m olsayd\u0131 s\u0131zlard\u0131 belki. Belki diyorum \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc sava\u015flarda \u00f6l\u00fcrken masumlar s\u0131zlamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 hi\u00e7. Ad\u0131 sava\u015f zaten, her yol a\u00e7\u0131kt\u0131r benim kan\u0131mda. Size, do\u011fru bir ka\u00e7 kelime \u00f6\u011fretebilir miyim san\u0131yorsunuz? \u00c7\u0131kard\u0131m ger\u00e7ekleri kitab\u0131n\u0131zdan. Burada tek do\u011fru benim, siz par\u00e7as\u0131 oldu\u011funuzu sanabilirsiniz ancak.<\/p>\n
Ka\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m ka\u00e7\u0131klar\u0131 sayar\u0131m, yaftalar\u0131m tek tek arkalar\u0131ndan. \u015eiddeti hi\u00e7 azaltmam salar\u0131m beyaz k\u00fcreleri her f\u0131rsat buldu\u011fumda. Yasaklar\u0131mla co\u015far\u0131m, kafas\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rana iki kaps\u00fcl antibiyotik \u00e7akt\u0131r\u0131r\u0131m bir metreden. Davulun sesine k\u0131zar\u0131m \u00e7ok uzaktan gelse bile. Anlamam k\u0131rar\u0131m tokma\u011f\u0131, sen k\u0131rd\u0131n diye de su\u00e7\u00fcst\u00fc yapar\u0131m. T\u0131kar\u0131m laf\u0131 a\u011fz\u0131na, \u015fi\u015feye hapsederim gazozun gaz\u0131n\u0131, patlatana kadar \u00e7alkalar koyar\u0131m masaya. Kar ederim \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcnen karbondioksit kadar. G\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc koymad\u0131\u011f\u0131m, laf etmedi\u011fim tek yer b\u0131rakmam, aran\u0131za da anan\u0131za da ileri geri konu\u015furum.<\/p>\n
R\u00f6ntgen de \u00e7ektirsem, kan da versem t\u00fcm sonu\u00e7lar\u0131m \u00e7eli\u015fir. Her seferinde farkl\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kar de\u011ferler. G\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fczle g\u00f6rseniz, kula\u011f\u0131n\u0131zla duysan\u0131z inanamazs\u0131n\u0131z.<\/p>\n
Ara\u00e7lar\u0131m tamirhanede komple s\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcp toplansa fazla par\u00e7alar\u0131ndan kurtulmu\u015f\u00e7as\u0131na daha h\u0131zl\u0131 devam eder yoluna. Suyla \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan\u0131n\u0131 yapma heveslilerinin aksine, alt\u0131nla \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131r y\u00fczd\u00fcr\u00fcr\u00fcm cikciklerimi. 4\u2019te 3\u2019\u00fc su olan yerk\u00fcreye rakip salmakla tehdit ederim ellisini zor tuttuklar\u0131m\u0131.<\/p>\n
Hepinizinmi\u015f gibi gelir, \u0131s\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f elmalar\u0131n\u0131zla oyalan\u0131rken siz, kuyunuzu kazar\u0131m. Kuyular\u0131 kime kazaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 anlamak i\u00e7in de ku\u015funuzu engeller izlerim bir k\u00f6\u015feden ku\u015f\u00e7ular\u0131. Uyutup da nasibini al\u0131r, al\u0131r, al\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z.<\/p>\n
Zaten se\u00e7ilmi\u015fli\u011fimle se\u00e7ilip se\u00e7ilmeyece\u011fimi konu\u015fursunuz kendi ufak d\u00fcnyan\u0131zda. Kutunuzda haber edersiniz anca aran\u0131zda. Kutunuzu da ayarlayan benim farkedemezsiniz cahilli\u011finizden. Cahil olmayanlar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 da o kadar ince i\u015f\u00e7ilikle ay\u0131klad\u0131m ki pabucumu kendime ters giydirmenin \u00f6tesine ge\u00e7tim.<\/p>\n
Anlayamazs\u0131n\u0131z! Beni en \u00e7ok \u00e7eken motorun yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 dalga, k\u00f6p\u00fcrtmesi; o nedenle dalga ge\u00e7iyorum daha da k\u00f6p\u00fcr\u00fcn diye\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Yapt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n sebebini bulup \u00e7\u00f6zmek zor geliyor. Kolay yolu se\u00e7iyorum ve yapt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131zdan dolay\u0131 hepinizi yarg\u0131l\u0131yorum. \u0130\u015fime gelen bu, ruhuma i\u015flemi\u015f. Sadece yapt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131zdan de\u011fil, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fckleriniz y\u00fcz\u00fcnden de cezalar ya\u011fd\u0131r\u0131yorum. D\u00fczenim bozulacak endi\u015fesiyle d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerinizden de korkuyorum. Korkuyorum potansiyelinden karars\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n. Hastaysan\u0131z bile umrumda oldu\u011funu mu sand\u0131n\u0131z? Ne hastalar g\u00f6rd\u00fc bu damarlar. Depremde de y\u0131k\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131zla kal\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z, az\u0131c\u0131k vicdan\u0131m olsayd\u0131 s\u0131zlard\u0131… Continue reading K\u0131sa Dalga<\/span>